DURCHEINANDER
THE HOMAGE TO SIR ALFRED HITCHCOCK
Chapter Ten
TOMMY'S REPLACEMENT / July 26, 2013
Wendell Johnson locked the front door of Melanie's Burger Bistro and went to the rooftop to see if there was anything Melanie wanted from the kitchen before he retired. He found Melanie and company surrounded by empty wine bottles and open bags of potting soil. Thelma, Melanie and their gentleman friend had dirt all over their hands, faces and clothes.
"Good evening, Thelma and Louise. Who, pray tell is the handsome gallant you've been hogging all evening." Wendell winked at Mitchell Doyle.
"This is Mr. Doyle. He owns the building. Thelma replied.
"Even better," Wendell showed more interest.
"Mr. Doyle, this is Mr. Wendell Johnson, our new cook." Thelma properly introduced them.
"You know, Mr. Doyle, I'm the one who make the crickets go away. I'm an exceptional cook and..." Wendell began.
"Save it. He's taken, " Thelma laughed. "You're late. Louise nabbed him." Thelma stepped back and tripped over a bag of potting soil. She landed on her rear end. "Give me a hand, Louise. I've fallen and I can't get up."
"You two simply must stop calling me Louise! The new customers are calling me Louise!" Melanie insisted.
"Well, I'm just happy to see you all in good spirits, and I do mean 'spirits' in the alcoholic sense of the word. What a mess! What on earth is going on up here?" Wendell surveyed the scene.
"We're just testing rose wines and planting the next crop of tomato vines." Mitch made no excuses.
"Can I get you people anything from the kitchen before I turn in? Another crate of wine, perhaps?" Wendell offered.
"Why yes, Wendell. Thank you. Please bring us that last bag of Bernard's Bone Meal from the pantry. We had a bag but Thelma seems to've misplaced it. I do hope she didn't place it on the ledge and allow it to fall on some poor tourist's head. Bad for business." Melanie replied.
"It prevents blossom end rot, you know," Thelma added.
"What? Getting hit on the head or the fertilizer?" Mitch asked.
Melanie laughed so hard she snorted. She was trying to help Thelma to get up but kept losing her grip and dropping her.
"You SNORTED! Miss Prim Proper snorted! Did you fellas hear that?!" Thelma's eyes were watering.
"Well, we don't want blossom end rot, do we?" Wendell shook his head and went to get the fertilizer. He returned too soon with a ghastly pale complexion.
"There's a mad man ripping the kitchen apart!" Wendell said in a strained whisper.
"Call the police!" Thelma scrambled to her feet. "Our phones are in the office downstairs!"
"So is mine!" Wendell cringed.
Suddenly they heard a phone ring.
"O Thank God!" Thelma declared. "A customer probably forgot their phone. Thank God! Find it!"
"It's coming from over there!" Mitch pointed. They all ran towards the ringing phone.
"It's coming from inside that bag of bone meal." Melanie said with a feeling of horror growing stronger each second.
"Just rip it open! Give it to me!" Wendell dusted off the phone off and answered it.
"Hello," Wendell said in a nice, polite manner, as if nothing was wrong.
"Jesus! Wendell! Have you lost your mind!? Hang up and call the police!" Mitch growled.
Wendell pulled away as if he was making a private call.
"Honey, I sound different because I'm not Tommy. Tommy isn't here right now. Listen, whoever you are, I need to hang up now because I have an important call." Wendell explained to the stranger who said she was calling from Baker and wanted to know why Tommy never showed up.
"The fire escape!" Thelma suggested.
"No! Thelma! No!" Wendell put his hand over the mouth piece. "He's down there waiting for us!" He warned and then went back to his call.
"Your name is Josephine? OK, Miss Josephine, I'm going to have to be rude and put you on hold. I can't imagine why he paid for a babysitter for Benjamine and then didn't show up. We'll talk about it in a minute." Wendell put Josephine on hold and dialed 911. "It's ringing. It's ringing."
"Who the hell are you talking to?" Mitch, Thelma and Melanie surrounded Wendell.
"I don't know! Some lady named Josephine with a kid named Ben who wants to talk to somebody named Tommy. I put her on hold. I couldn't hang up on her. She sounds so distressed!" Wendell said while the phone was ringing on the other end. "Still ringing. Still ringing."
"Melanie, isn't Tommy Barton the name of the cook I replaced?" Wendell asked. "Still ringing. Still ringing."
Melanie clutched her pearl necklace so tightly it broke. She fainted and landed with a loud thud.
Wendell completely lost it. He started screaming and couldn't stop.
Mitch grabbed the phone and talked to the police.
Thelma pointed towards the ocean.
"Wendell! Wendell! Snap out of it! Is that the man you saw in the kitchen?" Thelma pointed to a man running down the beach.
"I hope so!" Wendell declared as he strugged to regain his cool.
Suddenly, out of nowhere, a chorus of crickets began to chirp loudly.
"I spoke too soon. About the crickets." Wendell said in a daze.
Mitch put his jacket over Melanie and told the police they needed an ambulance.
"She's in shock. Was it what Wendell asked or did she get a closer look at that crazy man before we did? And how did Tommy Barton's phone get into a sealed sack of bone meal?" Thelma asked
~ TO BE CONTINUED ~
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